Extract from The 12 Tastes of Christmas
As we filed in, past the Christmas tree, we could see that the table was laid out with a very interesting assortment of dishes. Including humous, with pitta bread, a cucumber salad, and a fascinating dish of fish with ginger – very redolent of the eastern Mediterranean with baked spicy potatoes. There were puddings of the sweet sticky kind so loved on that area including a chilled rice pudding with honeyed figs as well as several types of fruit including fresh oranges and grapes; as well as figs and dates. On a small table to the side stood the drinks: there was a Lebanese red wine, Turkish beer, an Israeli white wine, fruit juices, including freshly pressed orange juice, and, of course, water.
Before we started to try the fabulous dishes the Professor ceremoniously lit the third candle on the Advent Wreath. The other two were already alight, but we could see that they were new ones to replace those lit in previous meetings. He spoke as he lit the candle.
‘This is the third Advent Candle. It is called the Shepherd’s Candle and obviously commemorates those poor shepherds who left their flocks that Christmas Night and journeyed into the stable at Bethlehem. That was, not by tradition the third Sunday, of course, it was Christmas Eve: as it is pretty difficult to celebrate a birth before the birth actually takes place, but this is the traditional name of the candle. It symbolises Joy and is a rosy-red colour – said to reflect the glimmering dawn. It is also known as the Gaudete candle – Latin for rejoice. For those interested, in the Orthodox Church the wreath has six different coloured candles celebrating six Sundays covering the Advent and Christmas period, and starting earlier in Mid-November. A green candle, symbolizing faith, is lit first, usually the second or third Sunday in November; the second is a blue candle, symbolizing hope; the third is a gold candle, symbolizing love; the fourth is a white candle, symbolizing peace; the fifth is a purple candle, symbolizing repentance; the final candle is red, symbolizing communion. I have to say I rather like that, but we are sticking with the Protestant tradition as usual.’
He sat down, and we started in on the tasty looking dishes. The fish in ginger was absolutely fabulous.
I also very much liked the white Israeli wine: Israel of course having thousands of years of wine producing history although, as Groves pointed out, the grapes used are very much the modern varietals now.
After the meal Groves came round and offered all several different types of gin – with appropriate mixers. That was odd, I thought, what has that got to do with the Mediterranean food we had had, but I shrugged metaphorically and accepted an interesting looking gin with botanicals both in it and in the mixer.
Then the Boffin stood up and, raising his glass of gin, said “Cheers”. We all replied in kind.
‘This story is from my family history on my mother’s side. I am not sure if I quite believe it or at least everything – but it is a good tale. There is a long tradition of sea-faring and Royal Navy service in my family going back several generations. I am afraid that I rather broke that tradition by becoming a chemical engineer! This story has been handed down from grand-parent or parent to grand-child or child for some years – no doubt embellished with each new telling – but largely, I believe the same germ of the story.
It is set in the Mediterranean, and the action takes place largely in the eastern end near what is now Turkey and Greece and the Lebanon shores – where the old Phoenicians used to live many years ago and from where the Carthaginians set out to found their Carthage – which is the Anglicised version of ‘Qart hadast’ which just means ‘new city’ in Punic. Those of you who studied the Aeneid by Virgil, in Latin studies, will recall that, having fled the fall and sack of Troy, Aeneas visits it, and has a dalliance with the queen, Dido, whose brother was called Pygmalion, before leaving to found another new city in Italy on the banks of the Tiber which would eventually become Rome.
Seafaring has always been a major aspect of the shore-based civilisations: with the curious exception of Troy which, although right on the coast, and generating its wealth by offering a sheltered haven and port at the watery crossroads between the Med and the Black Sea – the pontus Negra, sometimes thalassa mavrus or pontus euxine, never developed a navy. That would, of course, prove to be a major omission when the Trojan War came along and they had no fleet with which to harry and harass the Greek landings. But that is another tale for another day, but the locale and the ghost of the story is germane to my tale.
The tale is set at a time when ruffians and pirates were rife across the Med. The Barbary pirates, or Barbary Corsairs, were pirates, often Muslims, but not always, who operated from the Northern Africa ports such as Algiers, Tunis, and Tripoli, but also out of ports in the eastern Mediterranean as well. The North African littoral was also known in Europe as the Barbary Coast, in reference to the North African Arab tribe – the Berbers.
Typically, they would base themselves in what we would now call a ‘broken or failed’ state or port and then build up operations, from where they would raid. They became a considerable nuisance in the 16th and 17th centuries and continued to attack shipping up into the 19th century until they were suppressed by several naval countries – the British, along with the Portuguese, French and US.
From their bases they would raid over surprising distances – on occasion even raiding the UK – for plunder and slaves. They often pretended that they were doing it in the name of Islam – but really – they were just slavers and pirates stealing Christians, but sometimes others too, for the slave markets. Some countries tried to snuff them out – but they would resurface in another place.
The nascent USA in particular suffered badly as, being a confederation with no ability to raise taxes in its early days, it had no navy to protect its ships. The pirates tended not to attack ships from countries with powerful navies such as the French and British – but not always. When the USA adopted a constitution in 1789 it could then tax and spend and it developed a navy to try to deal with the pirates. It then built 6 ships and declared war on the Pasha of Tripoli. It beat the ruler of that state by a joint combined naval assault and a landing by marines who freed US prisoners. It was then embroiled in several other wars and skirmishes until the 19th century when the pirates were largely destroyed as a force by the British Royal Navy, working with Dutch and US fleets. They still continued their raiding and slaving activities sporadically, however, until the capture of Algeria by the French in 1830 which destroyed their power base for good.
One of my ancestors was a merchant captain and had suffered raids on his ships. He resolved to do something about it, and in particular the pirate who had attacked his ships several times. He was called the Red Bey as he had, allegedly a red beard, although the rumours were that it was dyed to make him seem ‘more Muslim’. Bey also being an Arab title, usually the governor of a province in the Ottoman Empire – but he wasn’t a governor – just a thug of a pirate. My ancestor, therefore, assembled a small fleet of war ships, which rendezvoused at Minorca, manned by well-seasoned sailors from the UK, France, the USA and various other countries, and sailed out to attack the known base in the Eastern Mediterranean, where the Red Bey had, unusually, based himself.
It was, according to intelligence reports from other ships’ captains to which he had spoken in the harbour at Minorca, based on the coast of what is now present-day Turkey across the sea from Greece. Close, I imagine, to where the hill of Hissarlik which contained the ruins of Troy was later on ‘discovered’ by Schliemann. Minorca, for those of you who do not know it, is the second largest island in the Balearics, after Majorca (their names coming from Spanish and meaning, more or less, large and small) and used to be the major base of the Royal Navy in the Mediterranean. It is a natural deep harbour and is the second largest in the world, after Pearl Harbour in Hawaii – of which you have all heard – I am sure. They are both calderas of ancient volcanos.‘
He raised his glass again and said ‘Now you see, we are drinking gin. It is now a little-known fact that before the acquisition of the West Indies, and the discovery of rum, gin was the drink of choice for the Royal Navy. And, given that Minorca was the main Royal Navy base, it is not surprising that a bustling economy grew up there to serve the Royal Navy’s and in particular the sailors’ needs. We won’t go into all the things that were supplied to sailors, but gin became a major product. A trip around the harbour, even nowadays, will show you many, many small individual gin factories dotted around the harbour, all making many-flavoured gin. This was long before the invention of quinine water which was horrible – but it was found that mixing it with gin made it much more palatable and therefore an effective anti-malarial drink and thus it became associated with India – tiffin on the verandah and so on – and became a staple of British drinks.’
He raised his glass again
“Cheers and chin-chin.” and we again responded in kind.
‘So, to carry on. My ancestor, we shall call him William, spent some time on Minorca with both he, and his crew, gathering intelligence on the Red Bey. Much of it was hearsay or conjecture, but some of it came from ships’ captains and crew, that had had fairly recent encounters with him and his ships, but had survived to live the tale. One of the things that the crew, who spoke an amazing array of languages amongst them, picked up – by listening to other seamen, but pretending not to understand what they were saying – was that sometimes the Red Bey sent spies into Minorca, in disguise as merchants or travellers, sometimes as Muslim pilgrims etc, to gather his own intelligence on ship movements. William noted that and wondered firstly how to identify these spies and then secondly how to make use of them.
The captain of one of the other ships in William’s fleet was an America called Captain Johnny, who had been involved in attacks on corsairs before. He hailed from Boston, a well-known seafaring town on the eastern seaboard and one of the original 13 colonies, named after a town in Lincolnshire. He had useful experience and William often consulted him about the best way ahead. He cautioned against precipitous action until the number of ships and guns that were with the Red Bey was known. He explained that each ship was captained by its own ruffian who sailed individually, but who would choose with whom to sail in pirate groups depending on their own foibles and whims, and, perhaps more importantly, the potential opportunities offered by the ‘leader’ for plunder, booty, slaves etc.
They spent some days in Minorca, gathering intelligence and ensuring that the ships were well loaded: especially with water, food, powder and shot. William laid much emphasis on fresh fruit and vegetables to fight against scurvy – the scourge of sailing then. His father was a physician and had shared this information with him.
One day, just after breakfast, William was approached by a well-to-do looking merchant, or so he supposed him to be when he looked at him.
“Good Morrow. Am I correct in supposing that you Captain William are, the leader of the war ship fleet in harbour here today?”
His English was quite good, but with just a slight accent and the odd grammatical error. Dutch possibly William thought.
He answered.
“Yes, you are correct. How may I help you?”
“Well, may I join you in a pipe?” and he took a wooden pipe out of his pocket.
“Please feel free, but I do not smoke.”
“In that case I shall not either.” And he replaced the pipe and smiled.
“Now, you asked me what you could do for me; well, my name is Hubertus Van der Valk. I am Dutch merchant. I am carrying good cargo of manufactured goods as well as few other things, to the Eastern Mediterranean. We will trade them there for wood, spices, herbs, other tings for which there is a ready market in Northern Europe. I was wondering if I could hire your fleet to escort me. There are also two or three other carracks or caravels who wish to make same voyage. Would that be possible? The Barbary Pirates, and the Red Bey in particular, an evil man who shows no quarter and offers no mercy, are known to be active in that locale.”
William closed his eyes and thought for a few moments. He then opened them, looked at the Dutch merchant and said
“Well, Herr Van der Valk, that is indeed an interesting proposition. Let me talk to my fellow ships’ captains and I shall give you a response. Where can I find you?”
The merchant pointed to a fine looking ship and said “That is my barque there. At night you can find me usually between 5 and 6 of an evening at the ‘mano azul’ that is the Blue Hand Tavern, where I meet with my fellow merchants and others to chat and gossip and to plan, sometimes to trade and deal over a glass of gin or wine. I look forward to seeing you again. Danku Vell.”
And he gave a short bow from the waist down and turned and left.
William thought to himself. Well – this could be useful. Not only might I make a little money from seeking out the pirates, these ships might also provide bait to entice this Pirate King out from his fastness.’
Here the Boffin paused, took a sip of his drink, and then carried on saying.
‘William was, allegedly, a very wealthy merchant indeed and could well have afforded to finance the fleet himself. Of course, in fact that had been his plan all along, as he very much wanted to rid the Med of this infestation and, thus, make his ships safer and so increase his profits by increasing his trade and also reducing his losses. I should also add that the wealth, alas, did not descend to my part of the family, more is the pity.’ And he made a moue with his face.
‘So, William called his captains together and explained the Dutchman’s proposition. He explained that Van Der Valk had had delivered to him a note saying that the merchants will be heading for Cairo and then Beirut and latterly Cyprus, still then within the Ottoman empire, which would take them close to where the Red Bey was said to have his base. They agreed that it was a good idea and so William went to seek out Van Der Valk and took Captain Johnny with him.
They met the other merchants and their captains and talked over where they were going and what they were going to do. Captain Johnny noticed a swarthy looking seaman, with an earring in one ear, seemingly not taking any notice, but clearly listening intently to the conversation. He said nothing but looked slightly askew, away from him, seeming not to notice, but took good notice of his appearance so he could describe him fully later on.
During a break in the conversation, he bent close to William and apprised him of his suspicions, at the same time pointing something out which is well away from the character so as to allay the Seaman’s suspicions in turn.
William gazed out of the window saying in a low voice with his face turned away from the Seaman, for you never know who can lip read
“Good, good, we could make use of him I think in the future – as long as we manage him, and what we tell him, properly.”
They talked for a little while longer to finalise the details, payments etc and then bought a round of drinks for the merchants and their captains, chatted a little of inconsequentialities, and then left the Mano Azul and went back to their ship.
Later on in the week, and as expected, the swarthy sailor tried to sign on with Captain Johnny: and, as they had previously agreed – they took him on. He claimed to be from Spain – but they did not believe him, but said nothing.
They set off and sailed across to Cairo, then up to Lebanon, then on to Cyprus. This brought them close to what is now the Turkish shoreline – but there was no sign of the pirates. They escorted the ships into Cyprus and the merchants transacted their business. William’s fleet had also brought goods for trade and they progressively sold these as they hopped from port to port across the Mediterranean.
William then called his captains together and the discussed what to do: they thought that they should try to find him or else the venture had been largely in vain. The merchants had by now transacted all of their business and were ready to leave. William discussed this with the merchants and they asked hm to escort them back to Minorca – just in case. He agreed subject the proviso that they sail near to the Red Bey’s fastness and try to draw him out. Not too happily, but happy to have his fleet as escort, they agreed.
The fleet sailed north from Cyprus and towards the rumoured location of the Red Bey’s fort. They rounded a cape one morning and there it was, lying and gleaming white in the sun. It was fairly near to where we now Troy was situate, but of course, although familiar with Homer’s The Iliad, they did not know that
The pirates had been there sometime, and had built a formidable fortress, based loosely on a Crusader Castle, right next to the shore with a protected harbour, and had extended the walls to include it inside.
William realised that even by bombarding the walls, his cannon, though good against wooden ships, would have little, if any, effect on the strong walls, no doubt also packed with earth to absorb the force from cannon balls. Any sustained broadsides, therefore, would just be a waste of powder and shot. Nevertheless, to show willing he instructed the ships to let off a few shots every now and then, aimed at the battlements and the gates – just to keep their heads down.
They anchored in the bay, opposite a large beach, and not too far out from the fortress.
William and Captain Johnny stood looking at the fortress from the fo’c’sle.
“We are lucky that as we are in the Mediterranean there are no tides: so we can anchor and, absent any unforeseen storms, which can, I believe, come up without warning hereabouts, not worry about waves. That is what did for Julius Caesar, you know, on his first invasion of Britain in 55BC.”
“How so, my friend?” said Captain Johnny
“Well, he being from Italy in the Mediterranean, where there are no tides, had no idea what a tide was, and pulled his ships onto the beach and left them there. The tide, however, came in and wrecked them!”
“Strange are the ways of the seas!”
William carried on, looking at the castle through his spyglass.
“Well, we cannot bombard this fort and the Red Bey into submission, that is clear: and that will not free the slaves in any case – they would slaughter them if they felt they were going to be stormed. We must, therefore, try a more subtle approach. I have, luckily, had a plan stewing in my mind for a while, in case of this eventuality. It is not guaranteed to be successful, but then – we have little choice in my view. This headland being near where Troy was situate, according to legend – and having studied the Iliad – it inspired me to think of this plan.”
William asked Hubertus to join him on his ship for a glass of Madeira, some cheese and ships biscuits.
“Now then my friend. You have offered me payment in gold, but I am going to ask you instead for a part of your cargo. The wood, or some of it. I need enough to do this.”
And he outlined his plan to Hubertus and Captain Johnny. He ended by saying “Now do you arrange for the wood, but not a word to anyone else about what I am going to do. You understand? In good time I shall explain to the rest of the fleet.”
The Dutch merchant slapped his knee with his hand and said.
“Ja, Ja! Dat is een goed plan – that is a good plan – mijn Kaptiein!” and he rushed off to consult with the other merchants to ensure that an adequate amount of wood is made available.
William then called all the ships’ carpenters together and asked them to build a wooden horse. “Just like the Greeks did at Troy.” he explained. He then called his and Captain Johnny’s crew over to his ship, and explained the plan.
“We are going to construct a wooden horse, just like the Greeks did at Troy, and then leave this horse outside the fortress, with a few pieces of gold and treasure draped over and partially inside it. We hope that the pirates will take it into their castle fastness. Then, at midnight, a few selected men who have been ensconced inside, will creep out and open the gates so that the main force can rush the castle and take it.”
The swarthy sailor was one of the crew to whom he explained the plan. Captain Johnny had been tasked with following, or rather, observing him, subtly and seeing what he did. The guards had also been given instructions not to stop anybody who jumped overboard – or at least to make a show of stopping them – but not too much.
So, the scene was set. The wood had been delivered to the carpenters, who had landed around the other side of the dune, away from the fortress where no-one could see them – the location unknown to any of the crewmen – and had been constructing the wooden horse. The carpenters had been working steadily on the construction and it was nearly, but not quite completed. They were very good carpenters and woodworkers, and it hadn’t taken very long to build. They had made the seams ‘watertight’, using pitch and tar, so nothing of the interior could be seen.
The ships were still firing random broadsides at the castle fortress just to keep the corsairs awake and on their toes: as well as lulling them into a false sense of security – inasmuch as they think an assault will come soon.
As expected, the swarthy sailor leapt overboard around midnight and swam powerfully to the beach. The guards fired a few musket balls at him or rather randomly into the sea, but making a good noise and the flashes could be seen from the castle. They were taking good care, as they had been ordered, not to hit him. He then ran up to the castle shouting in Arabic, and waving his arms – he clearly had a password of some sort as he wasn’t shot out of hand.
We can presume that he was ushered into the presence of the Red Bey who had sent him on his mission and the conversation would have gone something like this:
“Salaam aleikum Your Excellency.”
“Aleikum salaam – kaif halek?”
“I am well your magnificence – and I have such news for you.”
“Well – speak by the Prophet – peace be upon him. Speak!”
“I have heard the plans of the Feringees. They plan to build a wooden horse and leave it outside the fort, draped in treasure, in the hope that you will take it into the fortress. They will pretend to sail away, defeated, and offering this horse with gold, silver, and treasure: to placate you and hope you will cease your attacks on their ships. Then at night, a few men, hidden inside will creep out and throw open the doors and let the main force in to storm the fortress.”
The Red Bey stroked his beard saying
“Hahaha! You have done well, Ali, my friend. I did well when I sent you to spy on these Frankic and Anglic dogs. How do you know that this is truth?”
“I pretended that I had no other tongues other than the language of the Prophet – peace be upon him – and Spanish – so played dumb when they were discussing their plans in English. But, more than this – the Anglic leader – actually told all of his crew what he planned. Others translated it for me – he had no idea that I was a spy. Naturally I agreed that it was a clever plan.”
“Yes – they have realised that although their fleet is as strong as ours, if not a little stronger in some aspects, they cannot assault us here; and we have many, many weeks’ worth of provisions and access to good water, as well as to the hinterland where camel trains with food pass from time to time, thus a siege is not practicable.”
The Red Bey strode up and down thinking and then turned and said:
“Does this Englishman think we are ignorant – we Arabs? Kul Wahad! Does he think we are illiterate? Does he not know that it was our Arabic scholars in Andalusia that resurrected the ancient learning from Greece and Egypt; and that we are familiar with the old Greek tales? Even without your knowledge, gained at great personal danger to you, my friend, I would have known this tale and his attempt to trick us.”
He strode up and down a little more, thinking, and then called his lieutenants together. He quickly outlined the news and then said.
“Now – gather ye wood and oil, in secret so that they cannot see you from their ships, and pile it just inside the main entrance. We shall trick the English with a trick of our own.” And he laughed out loud at his cleverness.
Next morning, just before dawn, Captain William’s men rolled the horse around the headland and left it outside the castle walls. They then scuttled quickly back to their jolly boats and rowed back to the ship. The fleet then fired off a few desultory shots and then sailed away, seeming in dejected defeat, as per the plan.
One of the other fleet captains said
“William, we all know that the spy escaped with the news of what we are doing. How then will this trick work?”
“Have faith David, have faith. Things are not always as they seem.”
Some way away, out of sight of the fortress, the fleet struck anchor and then launched a small jolly boat in which were William and Captain Johnny and a few picked men. They quietly climbed up the very large grassy sand dune, which they had seen and then scouted over the past few days, and which gave them a view, through telescopes, of the castle and the shore where the horse was standing. They could see the odd jewel gleaming and glinting in the early morning sun, which was rising in the east behind, as planned, them so that it didn’t reflect off their lenses.
They heard the wailing of the Muezzin as he called ‘The Faithful’ to morning prayers and then after a while, the gates opened slightly, and a few men came out cautiously well-armed with cutlasses and pistols, cocked and ready.
“A sorry looing bunch of Ruffians they are at that.” said Captain Johnny.
“Yes.” Agreed William.
Then David, the Captain who had queried the trick last night, and whom William had asked to accompany them for he was an old friend, asked
“William, I did a quick headcount this morning. All our men are present and accounted for, apart from the traitor spy. So, who is in the horse?”
“Wait and see, my friend, wait and see.” said William and lifted his spyglass again.
The corsairs crept towards the horse and then searched for any sign of anyone else, with one eye on the gold and jewels: but they were on pain of death not to touch them. When they were satisfied, they despatched one man back to the castle, William could see it was the swarthy so-called Spanish sailor, to summon the Red Bey.
Then the gate opened fully and the Red Bey came out along with the entire pirate crew. They were all carrying wood, which they proceeded to pile under and around the horse, and pitchers or amphorae of oil, which they poured and threw over the horse.
“Oh my Lord!” said David “They are going to set fire to it!”
“Oh yes, I do hope so said William.” And he and Captain Johnny looked very pleased with themselves
“But, but the men…” said David and then he saw it “Ohh!”
“Now watch and see, oh ye of little faith.”
They could not, of course hear what anyone was saying, but we can presume it was something like this
The Red Bey approached the horse carrying a burning brand.
“Now then Feringhee dogs. Can you hear me in there? We know you are there – we have not been fooled by the smatterings of treasure or drops of gold scattered across this horse. We are not so easily fooled. Are you comfortable in your wooden prison? Well, you are about to get more uncomfortable! As you know, the Mediterranean is hot – now you will see just how hot it can get.”
And William and his men watched as he thrust the burning brand into the wood. The pirates broke open several bottles of grog or wine or brought pitchers of beer and started drinking, and dancing round and singing coarse insulting songs we may suppose. They fired their pistols into the air and occasionally at the horse.
And, as they watched, and as the flames got hotter and hotter, licking greedily at the oil drenched wood it happened.
The horse exploded and bullets and bits of metal, as well as many splinters of wood flew out extremely fast in all directions as the gun powder which had been secreted inside the horse, along with sealed metal tubes containing musket balls, reached ignition point.
All the pirates were either killed or badly wounded.
William gave the signal to the fleet and it sailed back to the castle, collecting him and his men on the way and they landed, finished off any pirates left alive, and then burnt the castle, having looted it of the many chests of treasure, gold and other items as well as freeing the slaves.
Curiously the Red Bey was not quite dead, nor was the spy – these they crucified to the gates as a stark warning to other pirates.’
“What an excellent tale.” Said Archie “and so clever too, to use a trick within a trick.”
“I love it.” said Dry-as-Dust. “It is always good to see evil get its come-uppance.”
“But supposing it hadn’t worked?” asked Angel.
“Then they would have thought of something else I am sure.” The Boffin replied “But it did work: as it was designed to appeal to the Red Bey’s sense of importance in his own cleverness, by playing on an old trick, with a twist. Cheers – more gin me hearties.”
And we all replied.